Jan 21, 2014

Dear Health Food,

I eat pretty clean, many people around me think I'm uber healthy mostly because I cook at home and we don't eat packaged stuff. The cleaner version of food we eat is simply because

a. I'm cheap
b. Hubs has a MSG allergy
c. LittleOne has a soy allergy
d. I have a gluten sensitive stomach
e. and I'm cheap

But this about all the healthy options out there we read about and see awesome pictures of on Instagram and they make me feel guilty that I don't eat as perfectly as I should.  The following are not my excuses, but well the truth:

Dear New-Found grain/thing with a funky name,
I have tried three different types of quinoa and you all suck.  I cannot get past your rice type appearance but funky texture. I can handle grits, oatmeal, cream of wheat, couscous, risotto, 10types of rice, etc...anything! But quinoa, you and your health benefits are not jiving with these tastes buds.

Dear Evil-Ovals,
Why must you be the go-to in health food?  The go-to in a lowcarb diet, paleo, whole? you name it kind of menu?  You with your controversial yoke and slimy whites?  It is pointless for me to partake in you because I must hide your healthiness with salsa, sriracha, cheese, meat, something to mask your sliminess.  You are the reason that I grew up on pancakes and waffles instead of simple eggs.  I blame you with my unhealthy weekend breakfast habits.

Dear entire health aisle of supplements,
Whey? why you no like me? why my tummy confuses you with lactose/dairy?
Lactose? we've been enemies for years.
Egg? see above, I know you are related to those foul little ovals! its psychological I know, but I know its really you in disguise.

Give me one good protein shake that I can mix with a fake milk (almond) or water and it be good for me without costing my week's grocery budget?

Without any love whatsoever,
April, the cheapass semi-healthy conscious person struggling to eat enough food.

Seriously though, if anyone wants to drop some names or ideas of a protein powder to try, I am game! 

*I did already try Advocare-Shakeology (chocolated) and reacted badly, but it was the original w/ lactose and dairy and not the vegan option.


  1. I use the Target brand of the Pure Protein bars...I've had their premixed drink before and it was okay so you might try their powder!

  2. Designer Whey protein powder.... seriously. You can't taste it. And if you go check on my fb page I have a TON of protein shakes/smoothies that I've found through the last few years and I LOVE!


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